i finally realized that hes not worth it .
idk why but when i got outta the house today
it was really late .
i got to the train station and i saw the g train leaving again ,
but this time its the g train that barely makes it in time !
so i was like .. imma be late to soph tech again .. OH WELL AT LEAST I WONT SEE HIM
i was like 2 min late :T
and then i barely finished my job 8 ..
my lettering looked like crap .
so then lunch .
i was standing in the line with nana
and even though i didnt really want to see him
i still kept looking at the door .
thank god i didnt see him coming in from there .
my eyes got a little watery when i was like talking about my plan
i will try to not see him/look at him
and then ill try to not talk about him
and then ill try to not think about him
and eventually ill be over him .
me and florence were too scared to do it .
plus we were like kinda depressed about it
so yeah .. we didnt go up to their table to ask for donation .
i mean , i know that i should face the reality and all
and i
am doing that
i
would make him hurt me again to get it over with
but then i dont wanna get hurt anymore ..
my heart is just too weak for that .
so like , metaphorically ,
he stabbed me , but it wasnt deep enough
and then i made him stabbed me again
and left me a scar
but then , the healing process hurts like fuck
and its going really really really slowly
so i just wanna
stab myself so deep that ill just die and reborn
but i am afraid of the pain of stabbing myself ..
or making him stabbing me ..
do you get what i am talking about ?
okay anyway
i only glanced at him for like 1 second today
yay .
i needa finish chem hwww D:
cuz i was like reading love stories before LOL
love stories always make me feel good !
i can live without a boyfriend or a crush
but i definitely cant live without love storiessss ♥ 
but its all good now imma get over him :D
Post a Comment